Desire

Recently, I’ve been pondering the beautiful word desire.

In my daily bible reading Genesis chapter 3:16

And her desire shall be towards her husband.

Stopped me in my tracks, and I read them over and over again.

I love the movement in those few words.

Desire shall be towards…

There is action.

It is not passive.

The word desire in Hebrew paints a beautiful picture to yearn, long, reach toward…

Now, I am single so why would I meditate on this verse? Not so I can long for marriage, or my singleness to end. Mentally I reframed it. I am a bride. A member of the Bride of Christ, and if I am how should the bride long for her heavenly Groom?

I started looking for things that desire, where did I find desire in my own life?

Desire, has hunger in it. Cooking curry on the stovetop I realized I was leaning into the smell, I was going towards a simple thing, curry. A taste, of desire.

Currently, I am living in a basement. There is a small shamrock plant that sits in a window that barely gets any light. However the small plant, desires the sun. It sits on the ledge patiently waiting for the sun to appear. At night when the sun disappears it tucks it three little leaves down so they look like mini umbrellas. But in the morning….

I am an early riser, currently I rising before or right along with the sun. The other morning, I pulled myself from my cozy blankets and walked into our living room the sky had a grey hint of dawn, not the hopeful blue, or the inspiring pink, just a hint of lightness in the sky…and the little leaves of the shamrock had started to unfold from their umbrella position to stretch towards the coming sun. I blinked. They are on the west side of the house, in a basement window well it is going to be hours…and yet their anticipation had already grown to reach towards the sun.

Conviction pricked at my heart. Am I waiting for my Lord, my heavenly Groom with that same anticipation. When I wake is He my first thought and delight. Do my toes curl in anticipation of prayer time and Bible reading.

Is my heart turned towards His? Do I long for the heartbeat of Heaven? What is His throbbing heartbeat, does it have an echoing refrain in my own soul?

Being a storyteller—my thoughts turned towards a narrative. What if the shamrock that longs for the sun turned it’s attention to other objects? What if it sat under a lamp? Yes, the lamp seems to have the same effect as the sun, but it doesn’t have the same nourishment. The plant would eventually die. What if the plant decided to uproot itself and chase a bright yellow ball? Yes, the ball is round like the sun, and it seems to have the same color but what would you call such a plant that chases after things besides the sun?

Now let me rephrase that.

What do we call a Christian who chases after something besides Christ?

If those objects had names such as worldly security, or lust—they are a false sun, and a false sun—brings death. Yet, how often does my heart turn towards other things than Christ?

One thing have I desired said the Psalmist.

One thing.

And that will I seek after.

To dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life…

To what end?

To behold the beauty of my Lord and to enquire in His temple.

One thing.

Do I desire One thing?

Do I desire…Jesus?

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